Citing a recent study conducted among random teenagers encountered at a skatepark near her office, Dr. Haley Tosis, self-proclaimed chief spokesperson for the U.S. Dentists’ Society (unaffiliated with the American Dental Association), has recommended that families distribute copies of survival horror game Death Mark to trick-or-treaters in lieu of candy or other sweets this Halloween.
“Candy is the Devil’s plaything,” explained Dr. Tosis. “2000 years ago, when Halloween was invented, no one was handing out candy, so everyone had super healthy teeth. When candy was discovered in the 1960s, things went downhill fast, and now everyone’s chompers are absolutely full of holes.”
Fortunately, all is not lost for hopeful trick-or-treaters, as the USDS has provided a helpful solution.
Death Mark, a spine-chilling new adventure from Aksys Games, is launching October 31, 2018 for the PlayStation®4 system, the PlayStation®Vita system, and the Nintendo Switch™. Aksys will also be releasing a Limited Edition copy of the game, which will include an exclusive 96-page full-color hardcover artbook, a spine-chilling soundtrack CD, a temporary tattoo of the fatal Mark, and a dramatic printed slipcase to entomb everything.
“Death Mark is way better to give to children, so long as they’re over 17, since the game is M-rated,” said Dr. Tosis. “It’s like I always say, scary dreams may last the night, but cavities? They last forever.”
Death Mark is rated M for “Mature,” and should not be ingested. Do not chew on Death Mark. If you have a cavity, please go see a real dentist.