Posted by Natalie Wicks
A space colony has fallen on hard times, but some strategic and helpful headbutting could be just the thing to turn it all around.
Welcome, recruit. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the change in gravity and your stretchy new space suit (space-wedgies are a very serious issue and should not be ignored), then we’ll begin your orientation.
The base has fallen on tough times and we need you, brave spacegoat, to help us rebuild this futuristic colony. The colony plays an important role in our economic, scientific, and diplomatic growth, but we’re losing investors left and right since everyone only seems to be interested in this new Star Wars stuff nowadays.
This is where you come in: by getting to know your new home, helping your fellow base-dwellers, and headbutting every crate and person you see, we should be able to save enough space-cash to crowd fund ourselves back into relevance.
Once you’ve funded and unlocked all of the high-tech new features of the base, you can gain all of the skills you need to be the ultimate sci fi captain. Visit the Commando Deck where you can practice space diplomacy, space tech control, and space yelling. All very important skills for a budding captain. Test your hoof control with speed bike racing, but try not to hit any crew members or giraffes. Visit the museum to learn some legit history, fly your very own ship and destroy space pirates, and even help our top scientists bend the laws of physics and reality at the Test Labs.
Watch out for the alien invasion, though — a hostile race has started caging up some of our inhabitants. We were going to go do something about it but it was meatloaf night at the canteen. Plus, their eyes glow bright green which freaks out the recruits. Good luck with that one!
We’ve got ample and luxurious crew quarters, where you can hang around to your heart’s content. We don’t encourage intercrew relationships, but there are some friendly people who might offer to show you around if you can find a way to help them out.
Goat Simulator: Waste of Space DLC is out next week for PS4. In summary, here’s what to expect from the newest, most space-tastic Goat Simulator map to date:
- Crowdfund a space colony and get other people to pay for it and do all the work!
- Endless space full of planets to visit. But seriously it would take forever to go there so why bother? There is one planet nearby, though. Go to that one.
- Fly and shoot stuff in space, because nobody makes games about flying and shooting in space anymore.
- Learn how to be a real bridge commander!
- The biggest map in goat simulator history, filled to the brim with exclusive content.